How I Became the President of the Philippines

There's a lot of issues out there as of this writing but first things first. I'm going to tell you how I became the president.

Somebody told me 'in my face' that "I stole the presidency not just once but twice!". Yes, I became the president not just once but twice (and hoping to be the prime minister next), but I didn't steal it. The people put me here, promise.

The first time was unexpected. I just woke up one morning and they said Erap already left Malacanang thru the Pasig river. I was the Vice President at that time and oh, how pity, the president is swimming his way thru the dirty Pasig river just to escape the people's wrath.

Then somebody came to our house and fetched me and then people forced me to take my oath as the President! Oh, things came so fast and there I was standing in front of millions of people taking my oath as president. And by the way, even if it was so chaotic at that time, I recited my oath perfectly, not like Barack Obama who have taken a 'take 2'.

Contrary to what others were saying that I orchestrated the downfall of Erap, I have nothing to do with that nor my husband Mike. We didn't convinced then AFP Chief of Staff Angelo Reyes to turn his back against Erap. Also with other 'balimbings' at that time. We have nothing to do with their moves. We just compensated them with 'juicy' posts in the government today to express our 'thanks' to them.

Then the presidential election came for my second term. I ran against an actor who is loved by the masses and my husband was so afraid that I might lose in the race (he loves me so much). In the surveys, he was always leading in Luzon, Visayas and Mindanao. I was also afraid then that I might lose, but when the final tallies came, I have proven that people still love me. I won by landslide. The actor was rallying behind me for more than a million votes.

Then the losing candidates invented an audio recording suggesting that I talked to a COMELEC commissioner and said I cheated in the elections. Is talking to a commissioner a form of cheating? Does the assurance (from a commissioner) of 1 million of votes more than my opponent rigged the elections? Does saying "I'm sorry" an acceptance of guilt? NO!

When I said "I'm sorry" , it doesn't mean I am guilty. I was supposed to say "I'm sorry no? I have nothing to do with that". But they edited my video so it appeared then that I was guilty.

There's no truth also that Garci orchestrated the "Dagdag-Bawas" scheme and my husband Mike distributed money in Mindanao. I assigned Garci in COMELEC just before the elections because of his past record. He was said to have orchestrated the "Dagdag-Bawas" against Pimentel prior to the presidential election but he was not proven guilty of that. I hired him because that's what my husband Mike said, for the reason that Garci is a master of "Dagdag-Bawas" so he can apprehend whoever is going to do that. If they (Mike & Garci) orchestrated some moves together, I'm out of the picture already. What I'm sure of is I won the elections fair and square and the people loves me to be their president.

There's also the Garci generals, the high ranking men in military who were said to have assisted Garci and Mike in their scheme. Oh, these men are just so good. they have nothing to do with any wrongdoing in the elections. As a matter of fact, during my administration, they are promoted to higher ranks, and became the AFP chief of staff and the police chief. Why? because they are so good and loyal, not because they helped in rigging the elections.

But whatever they are thinking, it's the people who are behind my presidency. I am so charismatic and my husband keep on telling that I look like Nora Aunor that's why I have that irresistible charisma.

I have passed all those controversies on the elections and here I am, going for the last year of my term. Anyway, I'm looking forward to serve the people more. Who knows, I'll become the prime minister and my noble dream of serving the Filipino people beyond 2010 will be realized.

About the President of the Philippines

You read it right. I'm the President of the Philippines and I'm the most powerful person in my country. They call me "your honor", "your majesty", "her excellence", "pinakamamahal na pangulo" etc. just to please me, especially the congressmen and my cabinet secretaries (Never mind the senate, we're minority there).

Anyway there are some also who call me bitch (oh my God, he's my party mate, you know) and some call me anything, they are so creative, they're really good in name calling. But no matter what, I'm still the President of the Philippines.

And yes, I heard this "blogging" thingy and it seems to be interesting. At least I can write my views here regarding the issues that are really staining my administration and also my family. They keep on saying bruhaha in the radio, TV, newspaper and yes in blogs too and they don't even give me the chance to answer them.

Another thing is, 2010 is fast approaching. At least I can campaign here in my blog, who knows, my press secretary's prayers will be answered, I can serve till 2010 and beyond... amen to that.

You'll find here my answers to all the issues thrown in my administration and my family, so if you're interested with my views as your president, come back soon. If not, well, I'm sure you'll regret when I'll distribute money bags (remember in congress?), you won't be included in my list.

If you want to ask my views on some issues not written here, you can contact my at philippinepresident @ gmail . com. If you want to be a guest writer here, throw me a note, not shoes, in the email address above. See you!